Rosh Chodesh Adar/End of Sheloshim

These are the remarks I gave at a small breakfast gathering on 30 Shevet, which was also Rosh Chodesh, and which marked the end of the Sheloshim (first 30 days of mourning) for my father.

We buried Dad on Rosh Chodesh Shevat.

It was fitting -- if such a thing could ever be fitting -- to have his funeral then, in that the start of Shevat is connected with the New Year for the trees. It offered an oppportunity for us to reflect on the cycloe of birth, growth, maturation, and death that we share with all living things. It was also poignant to begin shiva on Rosh Chodesh, to experience joy and sorrow intertwined, which is so deeply the nature of life.

And now, as we complete the sheloshim, we are at another Rosh Chodesh -- Adar. Mi-shenichnas Adar marbim be-simcha -- When Adar enters, joy is increased. This takes on a new meaning for me this year, as I move to a different stage in the full year of mourning for my father. Rosh Chodesh Adar provides not the intense burst of joy and revelry that accompanies Purim, but instead it offers a moment to savor lughter, to enjoyo a smile, to lean toward the side of the balance anchored by simcha. It is a time to remember how my father made me laugh, at the same time that his absence from the world and from my life now makes me deeply sad.

This is a time to wipe away the tears, for a moment, and to allow myself to be filled and to fill others with simcha, with joy.

Chodesh tov.